Looking for stylish prescription glasses with ultra low prices? Go straight the manufacturer, omit the middlemen and give Incredible Stylish New Frames From Zenni a visit. ZenniOptical.com’s huge selection of frames is bound to have one that suits your style. Have a look at Variable Dimension Frames From Zenni and see how they make glasses with single vision lens, sunsensor (photochromic) lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. So whatever your eyes demand, Best Thing Found: Zenni Optical will have it. Buy direct from manufacturer of stylish prescription glasses online, ZenniOptical.com! Check out Zenni Optical $8 Rx Eyeglasses.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Eyeglasses with Case
Looking for stylish prescription glasses with ultra low prices? Go straight the manufacturer, omit the middlemen and give Incredible Stylish New Frames From Zenni a visit. ZenniOptical.com’s huge selection of frames is bound to have one that suits your style. Have a look at Variable Dimension Frames From Zenni and see how they make glasses with single vision lens, sunsensor (photochromic) lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. So whatever your eyes demand, Best Thing Found: Zenni Optical will have it. Buy direct from manufacturer of stylish prescription glasses online, ZenniOptical.com! Check out Zenni Optical $8 Rx Eyeglasses.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ready For Holodays?
Would you like to take your significant other to a romantic destination? If you can afford to take an extra day or two to do more than just dinner, there are a great many East coast destinations all within a couple hours of each other that are wonderful in the winter.
Although it can be blustery cold in late fall and winter, New York City can be a very romantic place for couples. Many couples could use a relationship refresher, and what better way to get back to basics than with a romantic spring-time stroll through Central Park or a horse-and-buggy ride instead? Close by is Rockefeller Center, where, in the late fall and winter, you can ice skate on the open-air rink below the flags of the world and all of the sightseers on the street. Top this off with a cup of steamy cocoa or some hot, sweet peanuts or almonds from the street vendor and you have a very romantic, enjoyable afternoon for not a lot of money.
Of course, New York hotels do not come cheap and a wonderful dinner that evening is a must. If you enjoy being downtown when you visit New York, the Soho Grand is a simple, boutique hotel that is even pet friendly should you need to bring a non-human significant other. It will not be cheap, but the room does come with a complimentary pet goldfish upon request! The Tribeca Grand is its sister hotel, and if you choose to stay in this area you can visit Robert DeNiro's restaurant while you are in the area. Another unique and romantic suggestion is to dine on a yacht. New York's harbors boast wonderful dining aboard ships that sail around the island of Manhattan while you feast. What a memorable dinner that would be! The typical visitor to New York would, of course, make sure to see a show on Broadway after dinner or after their day out and about on the streets of New York. Certainly, there is plenty to choose from if you decide to choose this city that never sleeps for your getaway.
Another wonderful but completely different East coast destination is the Pennsylvania Pocono Mountains. Only two and a half hours from New York City, the Poconos offers beautiful scenery and plenty to do either during the spring and summer months or during winter. Depending on the town, it is full of quaint little shops and big manufacturing operations that offer everything from antiques to chocolates to candles. If you enjoy taking scenic rides and shopping ‘til you drop, this could be just the perfect destination.
If you are more of an outdoors type, the Pennsylvania Poconos offers some very good skiing to keep you active through both day and night. Some of the resorts offer lodges with fireside dining and lovely villas to come home to after a full day of snow and sun. Some of the villas come with their own private hot tubs, and we know how romantic a hot tub can be!
Perhaps you would rather have everything included in your short time away? There are a number of romantic, all-inclusive resorts in the mountains of Pennsylvania that have made the Poconos a favorite with honeymooners on the East coast. Caesars Pocono Resort and Cove Haven are just two of the resorts that offer secluded, top-notch room selections. Depending on how much you are willing to spend, you can even book a room with its own private swimming pool! If you don't want to go quite that crazy, most rooms come with fireplaces and heart-shaped Jacuzzi tubs, room service and complimentary champagne, and some have saunas and round, mirrored beds as well. It's all about togetherness at these resorts, and they cater to the couple. What more can you ask for from a romantic destination?
Another top destination for romance on the east is the New England shore towns. Believe it or not, the shoreline can be extremely romantic even during the winter months. The towns are no longer full of the music and festivities of the summer, and long gone are the young and loud partygoers. Instead, you are left with the quiet calm of the locals, many of whom operate bed and breakfast inns throughout the year. You can still enjoy an amazing seafood feast in the later fall and winter months; the difference is that it is prepared in front of a fireplace at a bed and breakfast, rather than al fresco at some seaside cabana. While the latter is fine when you are sunning with family and friends, it can be quite relaxing and romantic to enjoy a bowl of hot chowder and fine sea fare at dinner, prepared in someone's home with the utmost care, knowing that a four-poster, warm quilted bed awaits you in this old farmhouse by the sea when you are ready to retire.
No matter which city or resort you choose, you really cannot go wrong with any one of these romantic East coast destinations.
Although it can be blustery cold in late fall and winter, New York City can be a very romantic place for couples. Many couples could use a relationship refresher, and what better way to get back to basics than with a romantic spring-time stroll through Central Park or a horse-and-buggy ride instead? Close by is Rockefeller Center, where, in the late fall and winter, you can ice skate on the open-air rink below the flags of the world and all of the sightseers on the street. Top this off with a cup of steamy cocoa or some hot, sweet peanuts or almonds from the street vendor and you have a very romantic, enjoyable afternoon for not a lot of money.
Of course, New York hotels do not come cheap and a wonderful dinner that evening is a must. If you enjoy being downtown when you visit New York, the Soho Grand is a simple, boutique hotel that is even pet friendly should you need to bring a non-human significant other. It will not be cheap, but the room does come with a complimentary pet goldfish upon request! The Tribeca Grand is its sister hotel, and if you choose to stay in this area you can visit Robert DeNiro's restaurant while you are in the area. Another unique and romantic suggestion is to dine on a yacht. New York's harbors boast wonderful dining aboard ships that sail around the island of Manhattan while you feast. What a memorable dinner that would be! The typical visitor to New York would, of course, make sure to see a show on Broadway after dinner or after their day out and about on the streets of New York. Certainly, there is plenty to choose from if you decide to choose this city that never sleeps for your getaway.
Another wonderful but completely different East coast destination is the Pennsylvania Pocono Mountains. Only two and a half hours from New York City, the Poconos offers beautiful scenery and plenty to do either during the spring and summer months or during winter. Depending on the town, it is full of quaint little shops and big manufacturing operations that offer everything from antiques to chocolates to candles. If you enjoy taking scenic rides and shopping ‘til you drop, this could be just the perfect destination.
If you are more of an outdoors type, the Pennsylvania Poconos offers some very good skiing to keep you active through both day and night. Some of the resorts offer lodges with fireside dining and lovely villas to come home to after a full day of snow and sun. Some of the villas come with their own private hot tubs, and we know how romantic a hot tub can be!
Perhaps you would rather have everything included in your short time away? There are a number of romantic, all-inclusive resorts in the mountains of Pennsylvania that have made the Poconos a favorite with honeymooners on the East coast. Caesars Pocono Resort and Cove Haven are just two of the resorts that offer secluded, top-notch room selections. Depending on how much you are willing to spend, you can even book a room with its own private swimming pool! If you don't want to go quite that crazy, most rooms come with fireplaces and heart-shaped Jacuzzi tubs, room service and complimentary champagne, and some have saunas and round, mirrored beds as well. It's all about togetherness at these resorts, and they cater to the couple. What more can you ask for from a romantic destination?
Another top destination for romance on the east is the New England shore towns. Believe it or not, the shoreline can be extremely romantic even during the winter months. The towns are no longer full of the music and festivities of the summer, and long gone are the young and loud partygoers. Instead, you are left with the quiet calm of the locals, many of whom operate bed and breakfast inns throughout the year. You can still enjoy an amazing seafood feast in the later fall and winter months; the difference is that it is prepared in front of a fireplace at a bed and breakfast, rather than al fresco at some seaside cabana. While the latter is fine when you are sunning with family and friends, it can be quite relaxing and romantic to enjoy a bowl of hot chowder and fine sea fare at dinner, prepared in someone's home with the utmost care, knowing that a four-poster, warm quilted bed awaits you in this old farmhouse by the sea when you are ready to retire.
No matter which city or resort you choose, you really cannot go wrong with any one of these romantic East coast destinations.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
About natural breast enhancement
Why a plastic surgery? Women have breast enlargements for various personal reasons, the most important question to answer though is not the “why”, it’s the “how” and the “where”. Once you’ve decided to pursue breast enlargement procedures, you want to make sure to find the right surgeon, the right implant and the right technique to meet your expectations.
Despite more than a decade of controversy over their safety, breast implants are more popular than ever among women who want to build upon what nature gave them or who want to restore what disease has taken away. Whatever the reason, opting for breast implants is a personal decision that should be made only after a woman fully understands and accepts the potential risks of the devices and the importance of follow-up evaluations with her physician.
Some people see an enormous benefit to getting implants and are willing to accept associated risks. They say that using breast implants to rebuild the breast (reconstruction), or change its size and shape (augmentation), significantly improves the quality of life for many women. Advocates of breast implants also say that a woman's consent to the surgery should be considered valid as long as she weighs the risks and benefits of the procedure.
In any case, there are other safe and natural alternatives to surgery for breast enhancement, such as vitamins, pills and breast enhancement gum. Instead of undergoing breast enhancement surgery, a lot of women today are opting for breast enhancement supplements because they are more economical and carry lower risks. But majority of these breast enhancement supplements have not undergone strict testing by the US Food and Drug Administration so they are mostly marketed as herbal supplements. According to a few drug manufacturers, their breast enhancement supplements do work, citing studies that are, sadly, limited or information that have simply been passed on by word of mouth so much that they eventually became regarded as truth. If you want to increase your breast size, you can either choose to undergo breast surgery or take breast enhancement supplements. You should not be surprised to see that breast enhancement pills have such powerful herbal products in them as black cohosh, burdock root, fenugreek, wild yam, and kelp. Be aware that most pills contain just small amounts of their active ingredient so don’t be surprise if, after taking the enhancement pills for a while, you don’t see any results.
Among those women who have used breast enhancement vitamins and supplements simultaneously, most of those women report that the supplements have more benefits. But additional research about the efficacy of breast enhancement supplements needs to be done. If positive data about the effectiveness of these supplements are gathered, it will be of great benefit to those consumers who can’t afford surgery.
Despite more than a decade of controversy over their safety, breast implants are more popular than ever among women who want to build upon what nature gave them or who want to restore what disease has taken away. Whatever the reason, opting for breast implants is a personal decision that should be made only after a woman fully understands and accepts the potential risks of the devices and the importance of follow-up evaluations with her physician.
Some people see an enormous benefit to getting implants and are willing to accept associated risks. They say that using breast implants to rebuild the breast (reconstruction), or change its size and shape (augmentation), significantly improves the quality of life for many women. Advocates of breast implants also say that a woman's consent to the surgery should be considered valid as long as she weighs the risks and benefits of the procedure.
In any case, there are other safe and natural alternatives to surgery for breast enhancement, such as vitamins, pills and breast enhancement gum. Instead of undergoing breast enhancement surgery, a lot of women today are opting for breast enhancement supplements because they are more economical and carry lower risks. But majority of these breast enhancement supplements have not undergone strict testing by the US Food and Drug Administration so they are mostly marketed as herbal supplements. According to a few drug manufacturers, their breast enhancement supplements do work, citing studies that are, sadly, limited or information that have simply been passed on by word of mouth so much that they eventually became regarded as truth. If you want to increase your breast size, you can either choose to undergo breast surgery or take breast enhancement supplements. You should not be surprised to see that breast enhancement pills have such powerful herbal products in them as black cohosh, burdock root, fenugreek, wild yam, and kelp. Be aware that most pills contain just small amounts of their active ingredient so don’t be surprise if, after taking the enhancement pills for a while, you don’t see any results.
Among those women who have used breast enhancement vitamins and supplements simultaneously, most of those women report that the supplements have more benefits. But additional research about the efficacy of breast enhancement supplements needs to be done. If positive data about the effectiveness of these supplements are gathered, it will be of great benefit to those consumers who can’t afford surgery.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
AdWords Ads Now Free?
A new breakthrough secret is all you now need in order to get your Google AdWords pay-per-clicks FREE!
A gentleman from New York discovered what he calls an “oversight” on the part of 99.9% of all marketers that allows him to get otherwise paid-for advertising at Google as well as all other search engines that allow sponsored ads.
And no, nothing about his “secret” is illegal – nor does it require that you know someone on the “inside” at Google, Yahoo, MSN, Overture and others.
Instead, the New Yorker boasts proudly “…this is something that I caught onto just before 2000 when there was so much search engine craze running around, and started doing small just to test things at first … but which I later expanded on after getting the hang of it.”
This same fellow went on to start and operate sixteen separate online companies selling everything from pet food, DVDs, children’s toys & games, books, software, and sold not only his own manufactured products but became an affiliate for other web businesses – all the while applying his mastermind secret.
Over the course of nearly eight years the New Englander confesses “I’ve actually gotten over $87 million in advertising that using my secret I never had to pay for … and the largest share of which was more recently in Google pay-per-clicks as well as other forms of pad advertising at search engines … all of which I got for free …”
So powerful is his secret that he’s able to monopolize any niche online, and can always secure the top premium spots just above the usual organic results featured at most search engines.
He still has to set up an account with the search engines – but after applying his secret he is removed from having to pay for all the costs otherwise involved.
Again, nothing about his secret is either illegal or robs from the search engines.
One spokesperson from one of the most popular search engines said chuckling after being made privy to this amazing secret “Wow! Ha! This is really unique … and in my expert opinion it would only serve to enhance and bring more business to us at [name of search engine withheld for legal & confidentiality reasons] and not cause us to lose business in the slightest. Amazing!”
The northerner revealed that in this nearly eight years’ period of time since applying his secret he’s done well over $300 million in sales revenue with a most diverse line of products, and most recently in the last two years netted nearly $166 million after really “buckling down and pressing my secret to its fullest potential.”
Now to everyone else’s fortune, the city slicker is releasing his secret for getting an unlimited amount of pay-per-click ads to the general public. But he’s not promising any of us for how long.
A bit of an eccentric, the gentleman says “We’ll see just how long I can make it available before it saturates things.”
One famous public web guru pointed out that although this man may gain economically more so as a result of the publication of his secret “he’s already so amazingly rich that whether he continues or discontinues its sale will neither make nor break the man, but not grabbing it for yourself while it’s still available could prove disastrous for you as you may only have one chance, and a very limited one at that, to get this.”
It is currently available here
…so you may want to head on over there now and get it.
It’s in a very easily readable format and is quickly and readily understood and mastered by anyone with even a 4th grade reading level.
While you’re there, why not scroll down and review for yourself the huge successes others are now having with this incredible breakthrough in targeted advertising now made freely available to the rest of us?
To your success,
Iliana
A gentleman from New York discovered what he calls an “oversight” on the part of 99.9% of all marketers that allows him to get otherwise paid-for advertising at Google as well as all other search engines that allow sponsored ads.
And no, nothing about his “secret” is illegal – nor does it require that you know someone on the “inside” at Google, Yahoo, MSN, Overture and others.
Instead, the New Yorker boasts proudly “…this is something that I caught onto just before 2000 when there was so much search engine craze running around, and started doing small just to test things at first … but which I later expanded on after getting the hang of it.”
This same fellow went on to start and operate sixteen separate online companies selling everything from pet food, DVDs, children’s toys & games, books, software, and sold not only his own manufactured products but became an affiliate for other web businesses – all the while applying his mastermind secret.
Over the course of nearly eight years the New Englander confesses “I’ve actually gotten over $87 million in advertising that using my secret I never had to pay for … and the largest share of which was more recently in Google pay-per-clicks as well as other forms of pad advertising at search engines … all of which I got for free …”
So powerful is his secret that he’s able to monopolize any niche online, and can always secure the top premium spots just above the usual organic results featured at most search engines.
He still has to set up an account with the search engines – but after applying his secret he is removed from having to pay for all the costs otherwise involved.
Again, nothing about his secret is either illegal or robs from the search engines.
One spokesperson from one of the most popular search engines said chuckling after being made privy to this amazing secret “Wow! Ha! This is really unique … and in my expert opinion it would only serve to enhance and bring more business to us at [name of search engine withheld for legal & confidentiality reasons] and not cause us to lose business in the slightest. Amazing!”
The northerner revealed that in this nearly eight years’ period of time since applying his secret he’s done well over $300 million in sales revenue with a most diverse line of products, and most recently in the last two years netted nearly $166 million after really “buckling down and pressing my secret to its fullest potential.”
Now to everyone else’s fortune, the city slicker is releasing his secret for getting an unlimited amount of pay-per-click ads to the general public. But he’s not promising any of us for how long.
A bit of an eccentric, the gentleman says “We’ll see just how long I can make it available before it saturates things.”
One famous public web guru pointed out that although this man may gain economically more so as a result of the publication of his secret “he’s already so amazingly rich that whether he continues or discontinues its sale will neither make nor break the man, but not grabbing it for yourself while it’s still available could prove disastrous for you as you may only have one chance, and a very limited one at that, to get this.”
It is currently available here
…so you may want to head on over there now and get it.
It’s in a very easily readable format and is quickly and readily understood and mastered by anyone with even a 4th grade reading level.
While you’re there, why not scroll down and review for yourself the huge successes others are now having with this incredible breakthrough in targeted advertising now made freely available to the rest of us?
To your success,
Iliana
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Moving Beyond Your Divorce
There is no single more powerful stumbling block to moving beyond our divorce into a new life than the inability to accept our new reality. Acceptance is the hardest part of the divorce recovery process. Acceptance requires total honesty, courage and the willingness to let go of the life that we had...a life that no longer exists. Without that acceptance, we cannot move forward and create a new life.
How does one learn acceptance? Although it takes time and a good deal of inner work, it can be done. Here is a step-by-step guide to move you towards acceptance:
1) It’s about you, not them.
One of the most powerful lessons in life is the knowledge that we have control over one person and one person only…ourselves. If you are looking outside of yourself to move forward, you won’t. We can’t change anyone but ourselves. We have power over no one except ourselves. It is when we turn inward and do the work on ourselves that we will be able to effect dramatic and positive changes in our lives.
Being a victim means giving away all control and power. If I blame someone else for my situation, then I am powerless to do anything about it as I have chosen to absolve myself of any responsibility.
We can create changes that will make out lives better but not until we stop trying to change our ex or our current reality and we realize that it’s about us, not them.
2) Get support.
If you think you can do this all by yourself you may be in for a big surprise. Research consistently shows that getting support in any challenging endeavor leads to more success. Whether you choose a divorce support group, a therapist, a member of the clergy or a Life Coach, just do it.
If you are one of the those people who think that you have to handle life’s challenges on your own because somehow you equate support with weakness, get over it! Getting support is a sign of intelligence as far as I’m concerned as well as an indication that you really are serious about moving onward in life.
3) First, you must get through the initial stages of loss that includes denial, grief, anger, depression and whatever else you might be feeling early in the divorce process.
These emotions are all natural and necessary states that we need to experience. They are the norm versus the exception. Each one of these feelings needs to be embraced and experienced fully. There must be an ending before a new beginning.
There is a difference between fully experiencing an emotional stage and getting stuck in it. Beware excessive self-pity and real depression. Here is where support becomes important to your well-being and improvement.
4) Distinguish between facts and interpretations.
I cannot stress the importance of this step enough. People get stuck when they cannot face the facts and prefer to believe that their personal interpretations are reality.
You might be familiar with the exercise of the picture that has a hidden image within it. Ten people may come up with ten different interpretations of the picture. Some people will see the hidden image immediately and others will never see it until it is pointed out to them. Either way, the hidden picture exists. It is a fact.
You may feel that you have been mentally abused and yet your partner may feel that you are the one that is abusive. He said, she said. Probably a counselor will see a totally different picture altogether. You know, there’s your side, his side and then the truth.
Once you are truthful with yourself and can see the facts versus the drama or story of your divorce, you will be on your way to acceptance.
5) Be brutally honest and take responsibility for your marriage, divorce and life.
Those of us who can be totally honest with ourselves will receive the gift of a deep awareness of who and what we are along with the ability to accept our lives as they are without looking to blame someone else. Being honest allows us to see things that hadn’t existed for us before. The truth will indeed set you free. By setting aside our egos, we can look at our life for what it actually is versus a story about our divorce.
Once we have been honest and have embraced all the facts about our divorce, we are free to accept full responsibility for our lives. Responsibility is power and the freedom to choose what we want next in life. If we cannot take responsibility, we remain victims and victims absolve themselves of both their responsibility and therefore the power to control their own lives.
6) Learn the difference between what is and what you think should be.
If we are living in a netherland of what we think should be, we are completely cut off from reality or ‘what is’. If you think that you should not have to be experiencing divorce, then you cannot accept what is…that you are indeed getting divorced. You live in a world of your own.
We all create a list of should be’s that keep us stuck in the status quo: I should be happier, I should be getting more support, I shouldn’t have to work, and I should still be married. By concentrating on what we should be, we ignore what actually exists for us and remain stuck.
I think we should live in a world where peace is the predominant ethic but we don’t live in that world. That’s a dream I have. By acknowledging the world as it truly exists, I can make choices as to how I will live my life and also how to address the problems that do exist.
7) Consider the emotional wounds that you brought to the marriage.
Your ex may complain that you were not a warm person. I doubt that it was your marriage that created a cold person, if indeed that is what you are. We bring ourselves into our marriages and the parts of us that show up and create issues are the parts of us that we haven’t addressed yet. They are emotional wounds from somewhere in our past and they have a tendency to pop-up in our close relationships or when we are faced with challenging times.
Now is your chance to address those wounds and heal them so that you do not repeat your so-called mistakes again. Use your divorce as a catalyst to go inside and heal yourself.
8) Release toxic emotions.
Get rid of the debilitating toxic emotions that you are carrying around. Picture them as heavy baggage that keeps you stuck in your misery and produces a broken back. Anger, bitterness, hatred, resentment, rage…these are all toxic emotions that will harm you far more than your ex. You are the one who pays the price. You need to work through them and then release them because they will weigh you down for the rest of your life if you allow it.
Once you have done the work of truth versus interpretations and what is versus what should be, you will find it much easier to give up your anger and resentment. They do not serve you and you are learning to give away anything that does not serve you well.
9) Learn forgiveness for yourself and your mate.
You might not be able to practice forgiveness in the early stages of the journey to recovery but if you go through these other steps, you will be able to forigive your ex and more importantly, yourself. Forgiveness takes a big load off your shoulders. It releases energy that can be used for positive things.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you condone bad behavior, it simply means you forgive. If we separate the person from the behavior it becomes easier to forgive. You know that just because you sometimes say mean things it does not mean you are a bad person. Just a lapse in judgment. We are not necessarily our behavior. We know all the subconscious motivations that exist within every individual. If we look at the inner child within a person, forgiveness is a given.
10) Make conscious decisions; utilize free choice.
When you do the inner work of divorce recovery, you tend to attend to many things that have been left unresolved for years. You become more conscious of your actions and your choices. You become aware of the subconscious and how it can run your life. When you learn to observe the constant mind chatter that goes on inside your heads, you learn that the mind chatter is not us, its just chatter.
Making conscious decisions based in free choice means that we are not letting our mind chatter, our past, our emotional wounds or our interpretations of reality run the show. We take control of our lives. Conscious living allows for incredible freedom and the ability to create extraordinary changes.
And your bonus tip:
11) Find the gifts of your divorce.
Everything that occurs in our lives and everything that we are (warts and all) has a hidden gift. If you speak to someone who has survived divorce and has gone on to create a and vibrant life based upon their own passions and values, they will certainly tell you that their divorce was the best thing that happened to them. That may not be true for you but there is a gift waiting for you to find. My ex likes to say that he is responsible for my new career and to a certain extent he has played a part. Oftentimes it takes a good whack on the head to awaken us to life’s possibilities and our own happiness.
It’s the old adage: Every cloud has a silver lining. It is true. Search for the gifts of your divorce and it becomes yet another step toward a successful recovery from the trauma of divorce.
Successful divorce recovery takes inner work. Much like a flower, the work that has takes place underneath the surface of the ground, invisible to the human eye, is the crucial aspect. Without that subterranean work, there would be no flower. The reward of the flower is dependent upon the inner work of the seed and the root system. It is the same with humans. Do the inner work and you see the outer rewards.
How does one learn acceptance? Although it takes time and a good deal of inner work, it can be done. Here is a step-by-step guide to move you towards acceptance:
1) It’s about you, not them.
One of the most powerful lessons in life is the knowledge that we have control over one person and one person only…ourselves. If you are looking outside of yourself to move forward, you won’t. We can’t change anyone but ourselves. We have power over no one except ourselves. It is when we turn inward and do the work on ourselves that we will be able to effect dramatic and positive changes in our lives.
Being a victim means giving away all control and power. If I blame someone else for my situation, then I am powerless to do anything about it as I have chosen to absolve myself of any responsibility.
We can create changes that will make out lives better but not until we stop trying to change our ex or our current reality and we realize that it’s about us, not them.
2) Get support.
If you think you can do this all by yourself you may be in for a big surprise. Research consistently shows that getting support in any challenging endeavor leads to more success. Whether you choose a divorce support group, a therapist, a member of the clergy or a Life Coach, just do it.
If you are one of the those people who think that you have to handle life’s challenges on your own because somehow you equate support with weakness, get over it! Getting support is a sign of intelligence as far as I’m concerned as well as an indication that you really are serious about moving onward in life.
3) First, you must get through the initial stages of loss that includes denial, grief, anger, depression and whatever else you might be feeling early in the divorce process.
These emotions are all natural and necessary states that we need to experience. They are the norm versus the exception. Each one of these feelings needs to be embraced and experienced fully. There must be an ending before a new beginning.
There is a difference between fully experiencing an emotional stage and getting stuck in it. Beware excessive self-pity and real depression. Here is where support becomes important to your well-being and improvement.
4) Distinguish between facts and interpretations.
I cannot stress the importance of this step enough. People get stuck when they cannot face the facts and prefer to believe that their personal interpretations are reality.
You might be familiar with the exercise of the picture that has a hidden image within it. Ten people may come up with ten different interpretations of the picture. Some people will see the hidden image immediately and others will never see it until it is pointed out to them. Either way, the hidden picture exists. It is a fact.
You may feel that you have been mentally abused and yet your partner may feel that you are the one that is abusive. He said, she said. Probably a counselor will see a totally different picture altogether. You know, there’s your side, his side and then the truth.
Once you are truthful with yourself and can see the facts versus the drama or story of your divorce, you will be on your way to acceptance.
5) Be brutally honest and take responsibility for your marriage, divorce and life.
Those of us who can be totally honest with ourselves will receive the gift of a deep awareness of who and what we are along with the ability to accept our lives as they are without looking to blame someone else. Being honest allows us to see things that hadn’t existed for us before. The truth will indeed set you free. By setting aside our egos, we can look at our life for what it actually is versus a story about our divorce.
Once we have been honest and have embraced all the facts about our divorce, we are free to accept full responsibility for our lives. Responsibility is power and the freedom to choose what we want next in life. If we cannot take responsibility, we remain victims and victims absolve themselves of both their responsibility and therefore the power to control their own lives.
6) Learn the difference between what is and what you think should be.
If we are living in a netherland of what we think should be, we are completely cut off from reality or ‘what is’. If you think that you should not have to be experiencing divorce, then you cannot accept what is…that you are indeed getting divorced. You live in a world of your own.
We all create a list of should be’s that keep us stuck in the status quo: I should be happier, I should be getting more support, I shouldn’t have to work, and I should still be married. By concentrating on what we should be, we ignore what actually exists for us and remain stuck.
I think we should live in a world where peace is the predominant ethic but we don’t live in that world. That’s a dream I have. By acknowledging the world as it truly exists, I can make choices as to how I will live my life and also how to address the problems that do exist.
7) Consider the emotional wounds that you brought to the marriage.
Your ex may complain that you were not a warm person. I doubt that it was your marriage that created a cold person, if indeed that is what you are. We bring ourselves into our marriages and the parts of us that show up and create issues are the parts of us that we haven’t addressed yet. They are emotional wounds from somewhere in our past and they have a tendency to pop-up in our close relationships or when we are faced with challenging times.
Now is your chance to address those wounds and heal them so that you do not repeat your so-called mistakes again. Use your divorce as a catalyst to go inside and heal yourself.
8) Release toxic emotions.
Get rid of the debilitating toxic emotions that you are carrying around. Picture them as heavy baggage that keeps you stuck in your misery and produces a broken back. Anger, bitterness, hatred, resentment, rage…these are all toxic emotions that will harm you far more than your ex. You are the one who pays the price. You need to work through them and then release them because they will weigh you down for the rest of your life if you allow it.
Once you have done the work of truth versus interpretations and what is versus what should be, you will find it much easier to give up your anger and resentment. They do not serve you and you are learning to give away anything that does not serve you well.
9) Learn forgiveness for yourself and your mate.
You might not be able to practice forgiveness in the early stages of the journey to recovery but if you go through these other steps, you will be able to forigive your ex and more importantly, yourself. Forgiveness takes a big load off your shoulders. It releases energy that can be used for positive things.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you condone bad behavior, it simply means you forgive. If we separate the person from the behavior it becomes easier to forgive. You know that just because you sometimes say mean things it does not mean you are a bad person. Just a lapse in judgment. We are not necessarily our behavior. We know all the subconscious motivations that exist within every individual. If we look at the inner child within a person, forgiveness is a given.
10) Make conscious decisions; utilize free choice.
When you do the inner work of divorce recovery, you tend to attend to many things that have been left unresolved for years. You become more conscious of your actions and your choices. You become aware of the subconscious and how it can run your life. When you learn to observe the constant mind chatter that goes on inside your heads, you learn that the mind chatter is not us, its just chatter.
Making conscious decisions based in free choice means that we are not letting our mind chatter, our past, our emotional wounds or our interpretations of reality run the show. We take control of our lives. Conscious living allows for incredible freedom and the ability to create extraordinary changes.
And your bonus tip:
11) Find the gifts of your divorce.
Everything that occurs in our lives and everything that we are (warts and all) has a hidden gift. If you speak to someone who has survived divorce and has gone on to create a and vibrant life based upon their own passions and values, they will certainly tell you that their divorce was the best thing that happened to them. That may not be true for you but there is a gift waiting for you to find. My ex likes to say that he is responsible for my new career and to a certain extent he has played a part. Oftentimes it takes a good whack on the head to awaken us to life’s possibilities and our own happiness.
It’s the old adage: Every cloud has a silver lining. It is true. Search for the gifts of your divorce and it becomes yet another step toward a successful recovery from the trauma of divorce.
Successful divorce recovery takes inner work. Much like a flower, the work that has takes place underneath the surface of the ground, invisible to the human eye, is the crucial aspect. Without that subterranean work, there would be no flower. The reward of the flower is dependent upon the inner work of the seed and the root system. It is the same with humans. Do the inner work and you see the outer rewards.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Live TV?
I have a small quick question. Are you interested in services which allow you to stream live tv for free? Yes? If the answer is yes, then do yourself a favour and visit blogtv.com. BlogTV is a totally different concept. It is a company devoted to the promotion of talented individuals in the burgeoning world of community sites and interactive media. It’s a the place where you can show off your talent, build a fan base, create your own live show and share your opinions. One of their hottest products is the live broadcast, don’t miss it! You bring the camera, they bring the stage and you are done.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Veuillez devenir riche?
Est-ce que vous chercher une façon de gagner entre 200 et 500 $/€ par jour en ligne? C’est possible de devenir riche, c’est facile mais avant tout, c'est légal! Si vous voulez gagner d’ argent facile sur le net prenez quelques minutes de votre temps et visitez make-money.fr. C’est une methode de gagner d’argent granduit et il faut seulement suivez les instructions. Bonne chance!
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